Moreno Valley Ghost: The Peanut Butter Poltergeist
Moreno Valley is a city in Riverside County, California (which is in the USA). It's a lot like other cities except Moreno Valley is the second largest city in Riverside County. I don't know why they didn't just call it Moreno City but it wasn't exactly my choice so what can I do? Anyway, dumb names aside, Moreno Valley houses the Peanut Butter Poltergeist (which coincidentally is a good name).
A lady and her husband and two daughters moved into what seemed to be the perfect house. It had some rooms in it, some windows and a front door so in the housing market it was quite desirable. What wasn't so desirable was the poltergeist that lived inside it. After living in the house for a short time, some strange things started to happen. This included shampoo bottles being placed neatly on the stairs to remind the new occupants that healthy hair should be a priority for any modern family. But this was just the start of what was to come. One day the lady went into the kitchen to make a sandwich but to her surprise there was an open jar of peanut butter on the counter. The bottle had been turned on its side and the peanut butter was leaking out and making a mess on the counter. The strange part is that the ghost seemed to have microwaved the peanut butter before spilling it everywhere. You could tell that the peanut butter had been microwaved because it had that melty-microwaved peanut butter texture to it, which the lady thought was a bit odd.
Later, one of the daughters went to her room with her step-sister and spilled a drink on her bed. She said she didn't spill it and blamed her sister in the room instead. To clean it she went to get some bleach. When she put the bleach down on a table in her room she turned around and the lid fell off the bleach and the bottle tiped over by itself. The lady came running into the room a picture fell off the wall. This is when the lady and her daughters all looked at one another and said "we have a poltergeist!" in unison. Then they went out for a drive for some icecream to cool off from the situation. It's not every day you find a poltergeist in your home, you know? Later on when they came home after ice cream, they found out that the ghost was a bit fed up of peanut butter and instead had decided to throw the contents of the fridge out onto the floor and laughed when the family had to clean it up.
To try and make peace with the poltergeist, they offered it a little statue of a cat. But the husband was angry and said "I ain't afraid of no ghost" and threw the cat out of the back door to the end of the garden. When they walked back into the house the cat statue was inside and waiting for them. The husband got very angry because he didn't like the cat statue and he smashed it into pieces. The family all said good night to each other and went to bed.
When they woke up the next day they went into the cat statue room again and the word "CAT" was written all over the walls because the ghost was sad that the statue was broken. Instead of trying to put the statue back together the ghost just decided to fuck shit up instead. This included throwing pots and pans around, slamming doors like an angsty teenager, making footprints in ketchup and throwing toilet paper all around the house. One day, one of the daughters, Marie, was home alone and the ghost started being a dick again. She took a bunch of photos to see if she could capture anything and she managed to get a photo of the ghost.
Marie's photo of the Peanut Butter Poltergeist
A few days later the other daughter was left at home alone and she was just hanging out in her room when the door kept banging. She went to see who was there but when she reached for the handle, the banging stopped. When she went to leave the door, the banging started again. All she really wanted to do was leave the house to get away from the idiot ghost. Eventually the banging stopped and she went to the door. Next door to her bedroom was the toilet. As she peered out of her bedroom door, she noticed that the bathroom light was on and flickering so she figured the ghost was trying to take a pee break. She tried to trap the ghost in the bathroom by holding the door shut but eventually the ghost broke free and she fell on the floor. That's when she realised that the ghost had TP'd (or toilet papered) the entire house. On the floor was a frying pan that had a toilet roll in it which was on fire. She was scared of fire so she ran out of the house and sat on the lawn waiting for her family to get home. They didn't go back inside the house and instead just moved out and tried to sell it instead. Noone wanted to buy the house. The ghost must have smelled really bad because in the next couple of months 5 of the family's neighbours also tried to sell their houses but noone wanted to buy them.